I DiD It My Way~
Saturday, July 14, 2007
don't know why
sometimes i dun blog bcoz i dun have the time. but sometimes i dun blog bcoz i feel like i dunno what sorta words to use. when it comes to words, i can be fussy at times. if i cannot find that right one to express myself, i would rather not blog at all.
in fact, i think i do blog on a daily basis. for most conscious part of my life, i do think inwards in my heart about things i see, stuffs i do, pple i meet. i'm an actress in my own world. nobody's watching or judging, i am who i wish to be. never acting for anyone else but solely to my own delight.
yes. i am a true-blue pisces girl.
these days i worried myself to death over things i cannot comprehend. most women worried too much. evolution has not do away much of our instinctive sensitivity to our surroundings despite millions of years later, today, we are no longer cave women.
last night, as i lay in bed, trying to sleep but my mind was bombarded with endless random thoughts, as if my brain is resisting rest time. i thought about death and maybe, when the world would be ending, which i have long convinced about myself that perhaps it will be soon. then i think about the meaning of my existence, how i have lived my life in the past 23 years, and whether i have any terminal disease right now which i am not aware of.
just when i am afraid i will go mad any minute, i suddenly have a song in my heart. i thought about norah jones' don't know why. and for some reason i cannot explain, i felt peace and serenity, and the crazy thoughts went away.
i started to listen to my fm radio on my hp (too poor to buy mp3 player now, even if i had one, won't know where to download mp3, ha..). everything felt all right from then on. all the nonsensical worries melt away. i have my vital organs and limbs intact. i live in singapore and not some war-torn countries where i have to worried about my basic survival. there and then, i knew that everything is gonna be ok. i have found my solace in the world of music.
back in the real world.
i finally got a job. yippy. true, i was my usual worrisome buggy self when i first knew i am gonna start working and all. i count my blessings that things do go my way sometimes. i've been to several agencies so far but no luck. so when i receive a call to register at this newly established jap agency, i wasn't filled with hope. kinda like go-and-see-what-happen.
Me: Right.. i'm looking for a jap-speaking job but i'm still not very good at it so maybe i prefer something more like, just communicating internally with the jap staffs.
IC: M-san: Right.. wanna work for us instead?
Me: Right.. you mean it??!!
So this was vaguely how i got my job. it's been 2 days so far. the first day was overwhelming of coz. too much new info to absorb. the moment i was seated at my desk (nice and spacious) i had 2 boxes of name cards all ready and my email has already been set up. My very efficient MD, M-san, did all that. my colleague is A who sits next to me. well, i am literally in a company of men. 2 of them, as a matter of fact.
1st day lunchtime M-san treated me and A to a korean restaurant. having no experience at such place, i followed what they ordered. the 3 of us sat eating and engaging in polite chit chat on work and our individual lives. M-san speaks eng well. he has this sorta american accent like my first japanese teacher when she spoke in eng.
Me: M-san, you have studied in american before?
M-san: Yup, 4 years.
That explains. After lunch i said to M-san in my polite japanese: Gochiso sama deshita.
I am determine to practise my jap convo with M-san in the office but so far i still did not have the courage to use my jap confidently. deep sigh.
The next day i was 3mins late for work. yucks~ feeling v embarrassed. lateness is v obvious when there is only 2 other pple in the office, whom both r already seated at their desks. i have decided to bring my head-nodding hidamari doll to the office on the 2nd day. i have decided that offices r 1 of the most stressful environments in our modernized society and it has been said that hidamari's gentle nodding action and bright smile instantly calm one down. mine is a green-coloured cutie which nods its head from side to side. i told M-san, who is seated behind me: Feel free to look at my ningyo. it relaxes your eyes! He thought it was amusing.
Everyone (all 2 of them) r nice pple. fussing around to teach me stuffs. i helped to post up a job on the website and received my 1st email! Woo Hoo! sense of achievement. in these past 2 days, i have seen more resumes from all sorta pple than for the whole of my life. it really amazes me how much dough certain pple r rolling in. let's just say i am a tad envious but i must be really professional and not have such thoughts. *LoL*
we have huge windows in our office with a great view. i look out at all the ships and the huge containers and the sea and the sky. M-san is convinced that we can see sentosa and merlion from where our office is. Sadly both A and I cannot be sure. I even said: Geez, I haven't been to sentosa for at least 10 years.
I followed M-san to meet client 2 times so far. it's pretty intimidating to visit clients in their big fancy offices but oh well, I figured I'm gonna have to do this by myself soon enuff so i might as well try to learn the ropes.
my 2 days had been pretty good so far. i dun have to work today so i spent quite a bit of time thinking of all the things i wanna buy with my 1st pay. new clothes and heels for sure. a hair cut. designer shades! i always wanted a pair of those. i was thinking chanel but poor office girl like me prolly couldn't bear to part with hundreds of dollars for 1 so i'm gonna settle for elle. tee hee. (i was wondering if i can wear my shades in the office bcoz sitting besides the window, the morn sun hurts my eyes). a sleek bag which i can use to house my essentials when i go for lunch or meet clients (my regular bag won't do. it's too big). make-up! speaking of which, i can finally use the make-up palate given by my sweet fren, shany (thanks, babe ;> ) hmm.. then again, i dun even know when is payday yet.. sigh when will it come? i guess meanwhile i can day dream about the stuffs i can buy once i get paid ^__________^"
