I DiD It My Way~
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
trivialities rule my life
shit. it's another pixless blog again. where's my stupid cd to install the software?!! this sucks.
oh my. when i first got my job and blog about it, i've only started work for 2 days. bu ji bu jue it's almost 2 weeks now. actually i realised that i blog a lot about my job. i think it's prolly bcoz it takes up so much of my waking hours *suddenly felt v sad*
to make things worse, i moonlight on the sly, so that means, MORE WORK. (i figure we dun have any policy against us working after work hours. it's my free time and i can do what i want, right?)
i am a slave to money.
always knew that i am some sort of anti-social, friendless freak but i didnt know it was this bad. on the few rare occasions like today when i have some time and energy left after a long day, i could like blog a little about my monotonous existence. dawny is v kind and try her best to do justice to this humble little blog by leaving polite tag msgs on my board frequently. i think she is awkward that no one else leaves me any msg so as my good fren, she felt much obliged to brighten things up with cheery msgs. thanks woman ^_^
i would like to mention a sweet fren of mine from good old anderson days. this dearie, whom i address her as yoke (insisted to be known as fae now :P) , is the kinda lost-contact-after-sec-sch-days-but-remembered-fondly-as-a-tight-buddy-who-hang-out-with-me-when-we-were-both-16. i wanna extend my congrats to this lady who is expecting her little bundle of joy soon. i'm gonna buy you a baby gift, expect the usually cliche shower set and cute baby clothes *grinz*
ok la, actually my life is not so sad la. although i really dun have a lot of friends but the few buddies i've known back from anderson r those true pals for life, and i am happy to know that they are all, erm, alive and kicking, although we hardly have time to meet. my only complaint is that i never had mahjong kakis which is like, so pathetic. i'm the kind who wanna mj for the sake of mj. tot that after i got a job i can have colleagues to mj with. fat chance. (i can't imagine, ever, playing mj with A and M-san. the few things in life that's plain weird)
pretty much always lunch alone so i rather dabao to office and eat. the typical OL goes to work, waits for lunch, and after lunch waits for 6pm. mon waits till fri, start of the mth wait till the end when the salary finally comes in and the whole cycle just goes on and on. not to mention the morn and after work rush hour mrt/bus squeeze, the crowded eating places during lunch, the sleepy moments after lunch. also v lonely la sometimes. i actually envy other who have colleagues to lunch with. ha ha. i dun mind eating alone but it doesnt hurt to have company sometimes i guess.
easily irritated by little things too. like how i was cheated to buy dumpling ramen from this store today, there's this long Q and i q for like 20mins can.. some china pple were running the store and this lady was like asking the pple in q for their order. happily she forgotten mine and 3 pple behind me were served 1st. i can totally hear the guy cooking the noodle saying to her that if she has forgotten and i'm like: ok, i can understand chinese can. not the least bit apologetic lo. to make thing worse the 'ramen' is totally ban mian can. stupid lo. i will never eat at this store again ever. call me petty and c if u care. if u work in an office, lunch time is like so precious. and did i mention my office is like on the 36th floor? on average i'm prolly riding in the lift for 3 whole mins or more each time.
nevertheless, all these complaints and whining being said, i guess i'm still happier than all the petty stuffs that bother me. at least the pple in office r really nice. and the advantage of small company is prolly flexibility. not so many rules and regulations to follow as well. M-san said i could have 2 days of paid leaves during my probation. i mean, that's like so nice lo. it may not be a huge thing but its these little things that counts. i appreciate that.
working is a great life experience. even when u r sitting in the office all day, u do come across all sorts of pple via the telephone or email. today i have to do cold calling for 3 hours. of coz it's a much dreaded task and i visualise pple slamming down the phone on me or something. surprisingly, mmost r actually patient and polite enuff to hear u out b4 saying 'no' or 'send me your company profile via email pls' kinda response. i only got 2 pple cutting me off mid-sentence with 'not interested!'. so that's pretty cool. there r even v nice pple, like this lady who works for takashimaya hr and speaks to me real nicely. even sent me an acknowledgment after i emailed her. my faith in goodness of mankind has once again been rekindled. lol.
the other day the most digusting thing happened to me. sometimes in the morn i dun have thing to really eat properly so i will buy a small carton of soya bean. so that morn, i unsuspectingly stuck a straw into the cartoon and drank, only to find myself with a mouthful of thick gross liquid instead of the usual soya bean. yucks!!!!!! i totally ran to the sink and threw up k? it tasted like vomit (not that i have drank vomit b4 but i can imagine vomit to taste just like that) turned out that the expiry date was printed wrongly and god knows how long this crap has been. it was one of the most digusting things that even happened to me. and mind you i'm the kind that drink hard liquor without much hesitation but this was like, unforgivable.
oh. my life is filled with trivialities. praise the good lord (i'm no christian but i like the way this phrase sounds).
it's sleeping time once again. when i open my eyes tmr, it's yet another wonderous day of office life! whoopi doo!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
to do my best always
been at my new job for a week now. the good news is i have not been late at all. *sense of triumph* sometimes i will childishly think that how nice it is if i dun have to work. all that 9 to 6 mon to fri's time, stuck at work.
shigata ga nai wa ne. guess i'm all grown up now so i will have all these obligations and responsibilities. but to be fair, work is good so far. except..
i totally cannot understand financial terms :(
i'm kinda handling some financial jobs but i seriously cannot get the meanings of sgx, dealing, futures and commodities blah blah.. i'm pretty traumatised by all these really.
M-san kindly tried to explain to me using his bottle of coke
Him: So pretend i'm trying to sell this coke not now but in the future la la la
Me: T_T i really dun get it, so sorry
there and then i made up my mind. i will not give this up. i will go read up all the terms i dunno. 6 mths from now, i will become the best consultant! ^__^
finally my laptop is back from repair. was happily trying to upload pix from hp but hello! software is gone liao. this sucks. by the time i finally upload pix of me and dawny, both of us r prolly in our 80s.
i got a nasty feeling at the back of my mind that i will not pass my jlpt 1.
i better go do some homework then.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
don't know why
sometimes i dun blog bcoz i dun have the time. but sometimes i dun blog bcoz i feel like i dunno what sorta words to use. when it comes to words, i can be fussy at times. if i cannot find that right one to express myself, i would rather not blog at all.
in fact, i think i do blog on a daily basis. for most conscious part of my life, i do think inwards in my heart about things i see, stuffs i do, pple i meet. i'm an actress in my own world. nobody's watching or judging, i am who i wish to be. never acting for anyone else but solely to my own delight.
yes. i am a true-blue pisces girl.
these days i worried myself to death over things i cannot comprehend. most women worried too much. evolution has not do away much of our instinctive sensitivity to our surroundings despite millions of years later, today, we are no longer cave women.
last night, as i lay in bed, trying to sleep but my mind was bombarded with endless random thoughts, as if my brain is resisting rest time. i thought about death and maybe, when the world would be ending, which i have long convinced about myself that perhaps it will be soon. then i think about the meaning of my existence, how i have lived my life in the past 23 years, and whether i have any terminal disease right now which i am not aware of.
just when i am afraid i will go mad any minute, i suddenly have a song in my heart. i thought about norah jones' don't know why. and for some reason i cannot explain, i felt peace and serenity, and the crazy thoughts went away.
i started to listen to my fm radio on my hp (too poor to buy mp3 player now, even if i had one, won't know where to download mp3, ha..). everything felt all right from then on. all the nonsensical worries melt away. i have my vital organs and limbs intact. i live in singapore and not some war-torn countries where i have to worried about my basic survival. there and then, i knew that everything is gonna be ok. i have found my solace in the world of music.
back in the real world.
i finally got a job. yippy. true, i was my usual worrisome buggy self when i first knew i am gonna start working and all. i count my blessings that things do go my way sometimes. i've been to several agencies so far but no luck. so when i receive a call to register at this newly established jap agency, i wasn't filled with hope. kinda like go-and-see-what-happen.
Me: Right.. i'm looking for a jap-speaking job but i'm still not very good at it so maybe i prefer something more like, just communicating internally with the jap staffs.
IC: M-san: Right.. wanna work for us instead?
Me: Right.. you mean it??!!
So this was vaguely how i got my job. it's been 2 days so far. the first day was overwhelming of coz. too much new info to absorb. the moment i was seated at my desk (nice and spacious) i had 2 boxes of name cards all ready and my email has already been set up. My very efficient MD, M-san, did all that. my colleague is A who sits next to me. well, i am literally in a company of men. 2 of them, as a matter of fact.
1st day lunchtime M-san treated me and A to a korean restaurant. having no experience at such place, i followed what they ordered. the 3 of us sat eating and engaging in polite chit chat on work and our individual lives. M-san speaks eng well. he has this sorta american accent like my first japanese teacher when she spoke in eng.
Me: M-san, you have studied in american before?
M-san: Yup, 4 years.
That explains. After lunch i said to M-san in my polite japanese: Gochiso sama deshita.
I am determine to practise my jap convo with M-san in the office but so far i still did not have the courage to use my jap confidently. deep sigh.
The next day i was 3mins late for work. yucks~ feeling v embarrassed. lateness is v obvious when there is only 2 other pple in the office, whom both r already seated at their desks. i have decided to bring my head-nodding hidamari doll to the office on the 2nd day. i have decided that offices r 1 of the most stressful environments in our modernized society and it has been said that hidamari's gentle nodding action and bright smile instantly calm one down. mine is a green-coloured cutie which nods its head from side to side. i told M-san, who is seated behind me: Feel free to look at my ningyo. it relaxes your eyes! He thought it was amusing.
Everyone (all 2 of them) r nice pple. fussing around to teach me stuffs. i helped to post up a job on the website and received my 1st email! Woo Hoo! sense of achievement. in these past 2 days, i have seen more resumes from all sorta pple than for the whole of my life. it really amazes me how much dough certain pple r rolling in. let's just say i am a tad envious but i must be really professional and not have such thoughts. *LoL*
we have huge windows in our office with a great view. i look out at all the ships and the huge containers and the sea and the sky. M-san is convinced that we can see sentosa and merlion from where our office is. Sadly both A and I cannot be sure. I even said: Geez, I haven't been to sentosa for at least 10 years.
I followed M-san to meet client 2 times so far. it's pretty intimidating to visit clients in their big fancy offices but oh well, I figured I'm gonna have to do this by myself soon enuff so i might as well try to learn the ropes.
my 2 days had been pretty good so far. i dun have to work today so i spent quite a bit of time thinking of all the things i wanna buy with my 1st pay. new clothes and heels for sure. a hair cut. designer shades! i always wanted a pair of those. i was thinking chanel but poor office girl like me prolly couldn't bear to part with hundreds of dollars for 1 so i'm gonna settle for elle. tee hee. (i was wondering if i can wear my shades in the office bcoz sitting besides the window, the morn sun hurts my eyes). a sleek bag which i can use to house my essentials when i go for lunch or meet clients (my regular bag won't do. it's too big). make-up! speaking of which, i can finally use the make-up palate given by my sweet fren, shany (thanks, babe ;> ) hmm.. then again, i dun even know when is payday yet.. sigh when will it come? i guess meanwhile i can day dream about the stuffs i can buy once i get paid ^__________^"